DIAGNOSED: N.I.D (NEWS-INDUCED DEPRESSION)

TOO LAZY TO GO CRAZY

YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE BEFORE

WELCOME TO RIO HERE'S YOUR BULLETPROOF VEST

WE STAND WITH ISRAEL NOT JOKING HERE

IF YOU GET LUCKY YOUR UNFINISHED STUFF MIGHT SELL FOR A LOT OF MONEY

IF YOU GET LUCKY YOUR TERRIBLE ROUGH DRAFTS MIGHT BE SEEN AS GREAT ART

CRYPTIC ANTISEMITIC ALL-AMERICAN GREEN TEA PARTY CROSSBOW PUZZLE DUSTBOWL COMRADE CAPTAIN INSTANT NOODLES

WRITING IN ALL CAPS WILL RECEIVE THE DEATH PENALTY

BECAUSE IT IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY YOU KNOW IT IS FULL OF LIES

COSMOQUARKIC PAPER TELESCOPE

PLEASE TELL US WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO EJACULATE

COSMOQUANTIC SUPERSTRING ORIGAMI

FAT SHEMALE FUCKS HER FAT GIRLFRIEND

Let us masturbate together

Let us masturbate together

Before we get killed

By lollipops or the weather

FRANKISTELLA SAMBA ROCK

HISTORY WILL SHOW THE INEVITABLE WAY TOWARDS SCREWING UP EVERY SINGLE GOOD IDEA WE HAVE