Praise them

- Well, it's been a nice year! There's been this night at the club where I danced with this friend, and I kissed him, and I had this illusion that he might want to be my boyfriend! This proved wrong in the daylight, but that happy night was really fantastic!
- Praise the gods!

Doctors might be hazardous to your health

- Doctors make me sick! they are too often stuck up on statistis, and don't ask you the basic question of the real check-up: ARE YOU FEELING FINE? Who cares about the standards of normalcy? If I'm feeling good, and I'm not passing out, and I'm not contaminating other people, I'm FINE!
- Well, you should meet Dr. John, and have your prostate examined! then You will sing and shout for all the world to hear that doctors make you SWISH!

yet another view of Donnie Darko

- The thing is: the terrorist attacks of 9/11 actually happened in order to try and flunk Donnie Darko completely! But the DVD is a huge success, and now everybody will eventually know that
Bin Laden wanted to stop the world from knowing he played the part of Grandma Death in the movie! Yes, that's right: HE DYES HIS HAIR IN ORDER TO LOOK YOUNGER! BUT NOW THE TRUTH IS OUT!
- OK! I will tell you that I love you, looking right into your eyes! But first you shut up and spray you fucking sperm all over my beard! NOW! DO IT! DO IT! YES! YES!

a chuva cai

A chuva cai!
A rua inunda!
Maria, eu vou comer seu bolo!

win-win

- I got pregnant by accident, and I don't want the baby! But my boyfriend is a christian, so I'm not sure he's OK with abortion. Plus, it is illegal in Brazil, so I'd have to stop my vacation here and go home to do it!
- Oh, I think you should go ahead and become a mother! In this mad world, it is good to have a tradition to give you easy answers, and the easy answer now is becoming a mother, which will make all nice conservative people respect you! And also, military freaks will be glad to get another soldier to die in their useless wars! And sex maniacs that pose as priests and leaders of charity will be glad to get another kid that they can sexually abuse while pretending to do something to ease poverty! So it's a perfect win-win situation!

Humor is the answer!

There is no question!

Marriage or something

- This has got to be a joke! I spend most of my waking hours at my job, or on the bus to and from it! How the fuck am I supposed to get a boyfriend or girlfriend? I can't fuck my co-workers! I'm not supposed to! I need some social life, but I gotta get some sleep!
- Oh, I know a pretty nice sleeping therapy parlor that is absolutely bi-friendly! You just have to extend your lunch a little bit, take a nap, and wake up to find your Prince Charming sleeping right next to your individual nap-cubicle! Just be sure you don't sleep with him right away! You want him to know you are a nice young man that wants to go to Denmark and get married properly, and then go to Amsterdam to get some nice and clean Spacecake Honeymoon Private Party goin on!

Likeable man

- He's so likeable in this Vodavone T-shirt!
- He must be totally lickable without it!
- O que foi que ele disse?
- Que o John é lambível!
- Ah, com certeza!
- What did he ask you?
- I just told him how you'd like to lick John all over!
- Oh! I thought that was supposed to be our secret! What a bad boy you are!
- Oh, I'm not a boy anymore! But I'm kinda innocent, in my heart! Believe me!
- Give me another shot of this caipirinha, and I'll believe anyone all the way in!

I'm so glad

I'm so glad I'm a brand new man
Your love makes me out and about
I just love your plastic presence
You make my p-spot sing and shout

Vou

Singing: Vou deixaaaaar a bicha me levaaar pra onde ela quiseeeeer

playing your cards

Casino Royale is spectacular! Bond looks human, frail, warm, and truly cold and dangerous. Like you'd be dead before you knew, if he wanted you to. Everybody involved did a really good job at playing the cards they got, and this is probably the best since From Russia With Love.

strobo-sonic mindflowers

You don't need much. Not even vodka. You just dance looking at the mirror. Some people will think you're high on illegal stuff, and you will tap the energy and get a natural high. And the boxed-up tobacco smoke inside the dancefloor will surely give you a lift.

fala, cidadinho!

- You look like this new yorker that always wears black because you feel guilty about being rich in such a police state of a city that you can promenade at total ease, so you get bored and come to Rio to feel the heat and get robbed at gunpoint!
- Stop looking and decide: are you gonna suck my dick now, or are you doing it at our New York penthouse? Either way, I'm getting you the longer shocking pink butt plug that you want so much!

OK kissing

- Come again?
- Fiofox! That's a night club that will literally take you to the depths of Copacabana! Just go downstairs and enjoy yourself!
- And how long will this techno party go on?
- Until 8 a.m., at least!
- OK! Maybe I'll show up later! I have to meet this girl first!
- Bring her along! Het kissing is OK there!

Very Important Piece of Art

- Sing or write or paint the way you want! If it's not the solution, it's a document!
- OK! Say that in portuguese!
- Cante ou escreva ou pinte do jeito que quiser! Se não for solução, é documento!
- Sounds pretty sexy to me!

born with a cell phone number

- In the near future, newborn babies will get a cellphone number! That number will also be their ID, and their social security, and bank account, and their whatever-document number! Just one number! Then the bureaucrats will get paid to go home and surf the web! In fact, ANYBODY who's unemployed will get some nice cash just to surf the web or do wathever with their time!
- OK! I'm going home to masturbate and get some sleep! You can come with me, if you like!

mingau trouble

- How do you pronounce it?
- Mean- gow! Like a mean cow written with a "g"!
- OK! So I don't have to believe in anything?
- Yep!
- And I don't have to do anything?
- Except one thing: try to avoid trouble with the police!
- That's the problem: I actually WANT to get in trouble with the police!
- Oh, really? You should meet some "nice" Brazilian policemen! It will change your mind, trust me!

holy do your king thing!

He was chosen to stand before the king and get some royal head and shoot his spunk down the royal throat.

church of mingau

The Church of Mingau! You don't have to do anything, except this: try to stay out of trouble with the police. Yes! You don't have to like eating mingau! You don't even have to join in to be part of it! Enjoy yourself!

she looks like lezzie maguire

- She looks like Lezzie Maguire! How cute! I can't believe she actually dicks your ass! Is she big?
- Oh, she's fabulous! Never did anything but volunteer work all her life! But she's not dumb! She knows a con man from a mile a way!
- Her dick! Big? listen to me!
- Oh, yes! And she has this way of being shy about it! Like she is being sucked off for the first time, you know? Almost suffering as she releases her spunk right into your mouth!
- Hmmm! Tell me more!
- She likes me to ride on top of her dick! And she holds my waist as if I was hurting her dick with my ass! It's lovely! She makes me scream, alright! Dear God!
- Great! But will she do it to you doggy style? I happen to know you LOVE it like that!
- Don't be mean! She does anything I ask her to! She really loves me! Why, she might even fuck YOU, if I asked her to!
- OK, but you will have to give me some whiskey first! Then I'm all yours, love kittens!

1992 means tea for 3

- I felt like I was in love with my life so much! Like I'm gonna be happy for ever! I never thought ecstasy was going to be that good! It's like I will never need to get high again, cause I'm high for life! Like I came down to another planet! I feel so good, and it's been like 13 weeks! I mean 13 weeks without even doing tea! That's the most beautiful hangover ever! I'm forever changed, or something! God, I'm so happy!
- So, are you ready to suck cock and tongue ass?
- Why, do you have a bisexual husband?
- Oh, John likes you and you know you like him, too! And I'm all for it! But I am my own husband!
- What? You mean you are a she-male?
- Boy, I am the woman who will make you stop dropping acid and go back to booze and schmooze! You are gonna be in way too deep and beg for more! Are you ready? Because my clit is the biggest one, and my balls will have you mesmerized! Just say the word!