JANET

NAZI PANTHERS WANT THEIR MOMMIES

human traffic

I was so drunk I peed on my pants while walking at Avenida Paulista. Any Paulista will tell you it is not wise to cross it while drunk. I remember her smile as we parted and she went inside the subway station. I don't remember crossing the lanes. I don't remember the cars. I just remember that I found myself on the other side, and was walking to my hotel. Then I remember peeing. It didn't change my walking, and my oversized trousers hid it. I reached my room, hung my trousers on the
chair, went to sleep on my shorts and t-shirt.

It really started because of this art show opening nearby. I got so drunk I called her on the phone. Said I knew she was working, but that the show was really great, and only a couple of blocks away from her. She said OK, she would try and show up. Then I drank so much I just showed up at her building. She was very nice about my unproper euphoria. We went to the show, then I left her at the subway. She looked happy.

In the morning, I remembered I had no extra trousers. I was lucky: the weather was too cold for anyone to smell my piss. I just put my clothes on and took the first plane home. She didn't love me anymore, and it was fine.

fine young troglobicha

- I am a troglobicha, you know? Troglofaggot would be a translation!
- You seem groomed enough not to be called a caveman, really!
- But the troglodyte thing is positive, here! Like the Good Savage!
- That is Romantic Nonsense, my dear!
- Which is very queer, indeed, I'm sure you agree!
- Oh, you are a most agreeable man!

undercover of the night

- You should always have large amounts of money on you! This way, people will think you are a criminal!
- But we are supposed to be unnoticed!
- That's where your smile gets into the picture! If you never show off any weapons, and manage to have a smile that looks really relaxed, you're just another peaceful criminal, and no one cares. And the ones that do, you know are probably your targets.
So let me see that beautiful smile of yours shine!

I like them small

I like them small
The money bills
Small in value
Big in numbers
It feels so real

And in order
To fulfill my dream
I stand in line
At the teller machine

Should my dick fail to rise

Should my dick fail to rise
I will use my fingers and tongue
Humming up your ass
Will be my favorite song

BOB ZONE

JILL

cold metal

- What about WALL-E?
- Great! I can't wait for the extras on the DVD, where you get to see when EVE rocks him till their systems hit electrical overload!

JACK

the truth about the x files

- It's on collegehumor dot com! The name of the video is UfoPorno!
- I know! The truth is waaay out there, man!

CELIA

MARISA

truly madly deeply

- I don't understand this business of prohibiting smoking in public indoor places in Rio!
- Maybe the politicians want people to get wired on cocaine instead of tobacco, because it has no smoke!
- Yeah! Good for your lungs!

wired for hours

- I wanna puke!
- No! You wanna EAT! Wired for hours! Eaten what? ONE potato chip? Wake up and smell the food, man! Get some salty grub and water! Puking in my dick is not the kick no more!

earthling shops

- You wanna go to Earth? But that's too primitive! They even have shops there that are NOT open at all times!
- Yeah! It's SO rustic! I love it!

science friction

- Did you see the pictures of those china girls giving hand jobs at the Chinese sperm bank? This can't be real!
- Hah! You gotta see how they do it at Planet Wunk! Look, Ma! No hands!

shocking sex survey results at PlanetOut

- It's on PlanetOut! 17% of straight men, 15% of straight women, 8% of gay men, and 8% of lesbians prefer masturbation to having sex with a partner!
- What about bi people? Never mind: give me a hand here!

You should care about your underwear

You should care about your underwear
You should have more time to spare
You should care about your underwear
You should know here from there
Here from there

warm up

- Well, here's my painting technique: I wake up early and go out to my day job, which works as a warm up, and after that I paint and draw.
- You sexy thing!

PORTRAIT OF CHRISTINE JORGENSEN

confessions on a dance floor

- Ian Curtis was the Bob Dylan of dancing, man! After hearing Dylan, many were sure they could sing, even me! And when I saw Curtis dancing, I knew right away that I could dance and be a frontman, too!
- OK! OK! Now, shut up and let ME dance!

FOR MEG

when the saints go marching in

- Haven't you got anything to say about the two Brazilian Army sergeants that came out as a gay couple, and are currently under arrest for violations of the military codes, in what appears, for some observers, to be an act of veiled homophoby?
- God be with them! They are putting themselves through some very hard situations and, in doing so, are helping this world to be freer and happier! They are also kinda cute!

Generation 2000 against total chaos (part 161)

- Posição 2004: looking at the info. Next?
- I met Silvia D., and lent her the CD with the image of her work. She does not have it, and will try to open it up. She did have two unsigned prints of it, one of which was the one used at the show. She gave me the other one. I was surprised to see it is actually an A3 size paper. She does not remember what paper was used for the prints. And she said she used a version of CorelDRAW that is old nowadays. But her boyfriend will try and open the files, so that she can send me any written file they find. And also: The masochistic viet cong is only a scene in a group of graphically erotic ones. It just got stuck on my mind because it is by far the most unexpected. Good show!

PORTRAIT OF LILI ELBE

black penis

I remember it: a photo of a naked black man, caressing the outside of his thighs. The speech balloon reads: The Emperor was right! These clothes feel as smooth as silk! That's the left photo. On the right, a close up of an erect black penis. It could be a life-size image. The speech balloon reads: Call me Dick! I don't remember the photo below these two.

PISTOL

swastika eyes

- He was there! I saw him on the dancefloor when the DJ was playing Primal Scream! He had his eyes closed, and instead of Swastika Eyes, he was singing Vodka Ice to the song!
- I remember! I remember! Boy, were we drunk on that one!

ANDREA

dinheiro bão

Boa marra
Dinheiro bão
Beleza pura

MAITÊ

SMILING BOAT

CLAUDIA

avoid direct sunlight

Try to be a good person
Try to lead a good life
Always try to do the right thing
Avoid direct sunlight

Generation 2000 against total chaos (part 160)

- Posição 2004: looking at the info. Next?
- Sandra Schechtman. Couldn't open the image, but I've already described it for you. Here's the technical info: It has 150 x 300 centimeters. Photos printed on canvas. Shadows of people over beautiful white and red crosswalks. Lying on the floor like a carpet. I thought it was printed on plastic. That's how I remembered it before reading the info. Anyway, the date is 2004, and the title is Entre Linhas, which means Between Lines. As I said before: a magic carpet! Good show!
- OK. Next?
- Sonia Meilman. As I've told you, she showed this two beautiful high contrast photos of roofs against sky. It basically splits the image in two fields, black and white, with the white on the upper side. They are shown as a diptych. 46 x 140 centimeters. Photos mounted on PVC. Date is 2003. Title is Melodia Concreta, which means Concrete Melody. The jagged lines remind me of Clyfford Still, and I like it. Good show!
- OK. Next?
- Sara Ramo. Another diptych with two color photos of a bathroom. The first shows it on a tidy state. The second has cleaning and beauty products and other stuff displaced, mostly standing on the floor, like they had created life and decided to change their places. Each photo measures 50 x 70 centimeters. As I remember them, it is probably photos mounted on PVC. Date is 2002-2004. Tilte is Como Aprender o Que Acontece na Normalidade das Coisas, which means How to Learn What Happens in the Normality of Things. Surreal Pop, for me, and I like it! Good show!
- OK. Next?
- Silvia D. I Couldn't open the files on her CD. As I've told you, it's a wildly humorous drawing of a masochistic viet cong. Probably a Paintbrush drawing printed on regular PC printer photographic paper, A4 size, and it was on its side, like a marine painting. Beautiful colors. Good show!

KISS MY

PIROGA

DRAG INSIDE

ALSO AVAILABLE IN BLACK, ELECTRIC GREEN, AND SHOCKING PINK!

PANTIES INSIDE

PINEL INSIDE

BUTT PLUG INSIDE

BOY INSIDE

GIRL INSIDE

DILDO INSIDE

election predilection

- Every election year's the same: they dig up holes all over town, so that it looks like they are working day and night! And this gets the traffic a lot worse, because there's less space for all the cars!
- Yeah, but they also put on some security show, with more policemen out in the streets at night!
- I love a man in a uniform!

BETA