I am a faggot

- Give me one Real, faggot!
He was smiling at me. Such a crazy childlike friendly smile. I just smiled back as I shaked my head at the bum. One of the happiest times I said "no" in my life. I actually started to laugh right away. And heard him using the same line to another man, as I walked off. Call me nuts. I just love Rio!

Bindeez gee-whiz

- It's on Gazeta Mercantil from 3 days ago: not many showed up on the first day of Bindeez recall in Brazil!
- The kids are too fucking high on GHB to move! Try again next week, when they come back from that kiddie rave lounge tent!

stem cell kit

- I had a dream about the future! We had something called mix-a-stem-cell, where you used this kit to build any tissue and make spare parts of any organ in your body! It was an easy do-it-yourself thing! AND IT WAS FREE WITH YOUR SUNDAY NEWSPAPER!
- Wake up, man! You ARE in this future! You have just dreamed you were from the past!
- Wow! Let's build me another liver, right now!

or the olives

It is disguised as an article in Crap Science, a scientific magazine about the use of feces as fertilizing agents in agriculture. The Lollipop Mafia is not ruled out yet, but it seems like it could be the NGGR totalitarian white power organization. We strongly advise spiking their drinks with xtc and sending in some nice black prostitutes to change their worldview. If that doesn't make them stop with this nazi shit, just give them the weeds or the olives.

blop you

- It's on MSN Brasil today: longer holiday but fewer deaths in traffic accidents this time!
- You are reading the news! That is SO MUCH ADVENTURES IN MILITARY INTELLIGENCE! I will be there someday. As of now, I'm just reading e-mails!
- Enlarge your Viagra and stuff, I know.
- In this case, it's sometimes even Aumente o Tamanho do seu Viagra! They are even crating new languages, as in ENLARL7GE ZU VlAGRA! Or AUMENTE O TAMANHO DO SEU ROLEX!
- That's sexy! =D Let me know when we will gob our sticks.
- I will send you a subject sixty mine. How's the wife?
- She'll come back with a TV and blop you senseless.
- HMMMM! Foursome Prison Blurbs! =)

the works

First of all, have someome check the head of agent *****. She seems to be a little off since that rent boy vanished. Talking about how sweet his feces were, and stuff. We don't want another burnout this week. As for agent *****, relocate him to the case of that actor who collects post stamps. The name of the play is Mais Um Texto Atribuído Ao Veríssimo. There might be some Milkybar Triad money in the works.

alone was

- I can't believe you actually ENJOYED watching THE HEARTBREAK KID!
- What can I say? It's weird and even sad, but also very funny at times! Sure, it's something you've alredy seen, but what a twist they give to it at some scenes! I laughed quite a few times! Maybe they are a long way to ever doing great stuff like THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY. Who cares? The last scene alone was worth the ticket!

off good

- Son, you understand you bashed his brains out and he is dead, right? Would you tell us why you did it?
- He called me a sissy, and then he said that he loved me, and then went blank.
- I don't understand.
- Well, he was also supposed to whistle the tune to "Titanic" in my ear! I've told the bastard a million times that he had to do it to get me off good!

drunk rock unit

Please have the code team do a double check on the text below. We have reasons to believe it actually has something to do with the Hedonist International and its plan of transforming the world into a huge block party. Something must be done at once! It seems that D-Day is approaching quickly and there's not nearly enough booze for all of us! And tell those guys at Design Central to speed up on Harmless Trip Project! Our agents need those pills before it all gets legalised! As for the music, leave it all to the Drunk Rock Unit to fix it. You know the guys are doing it right when all the girls get up and dance without t-shirts!
NO FINAL
- Você não odeia essas pessoas estranhas que chegam do nada fazendo perguntas engraçadas?
- Não quando elas são realmente engraçadas!
- Estive pensando em adotarmos uma criança!
- Pra quê? Você acha que falta criancice na nossa vida?
- Nunca pensei que ficaria com você tanto tempo!
- Eu sempre soube que você não pensava, e adorei isso desde o primeiro dia!

Generation 2000 against total chaos (part 145)

- Posição 2004: looking at the info. Next?
- Marina Kosovski. PENDENTE, which means PENDANT. A white balloon hanging from a tread, with a wine glass that looked like it was magnetically attached to its bottom, until you looked closer and noticed that there was a lower tip of the balloon inside the wine glass, and holding it in place. She had to check it daily, for the balloon loosed a bit of air every day. I think she had to replace the balloon one or two times. It was very beautiful. Here's the info:
95 x 250 x 45 centimeters. Latex balloon, crystal wine glass, steel bar, nylon tread, and an aluminium sheet. I just have to add that I didn't remember the sheet, for it was like a table near the ground, from one column to another, and it didn't quite capture you attention as much as the balloon. But seeing the photos, it went very well with another fact: All this was inside a narrow arch in the inside area, near the empty pool. Anyway, it was beatiful, and I don't know what she meant, but that doesn't worry me at all. Good show!

Musharraf is a Perv

- What is you opinion on the Emergency Rule that President Pervez Musharraf has just declared all over Pakistan?
- Well, Perv is a close friend of us at Pervy Planet dot org. He is making quite a progress at accepting himself as a control fetishist. I'm sure he will be feeling much better pretty soon, and will stop this Emergency Rule nonsense every time he wants to use the toilet. In fact, he might call it off as soon as he gets out of the loo, which should be any minute now. We are talking him down online as I speak to you, and I assure you he is feling fine, and quite approving of democracy.

self-loving all-forgiving lord god

We have selected the following for deeper code checking:
A MÃE TERRA
TERRA-MÃE
ENTERRA NA MÃE
SE AUTO-ESPORRA
E GLORIFICA
SUA MEMÓRIA
SE REPLICA
We have reasons to believe it has something to do with the Muslims For Tolerance (MFT) organization. The intercepted dialogue below briefly explains its official policies:
- Muslims For Tolerance?
- Yeah! You can find them at Muslims For Tolerance dot org! They say that suicide, euthanasia, abortion, same-sex marriage, pansexual marriage, sex-change operations, recreational drug use, fetish sex, and the right to have your own personal machine gun are all perfectly fine! In fact, they say it's all in the Holy Book, and you don't even have to believe it! You can even be jewish, they say! I tell you: they say that even satanists are going to heaven, if they don't do human sacrifices! Sounds good to me!
- But what if they've already killed someone in a ritual?
- It's in the F.A.Q. File: if you killed someone, you are going to heaven anyway, because God is love! But you might get to spend some years in jail, if your lawyer is no good!

Generation 2000 against total chaos (part 144)

- Posição 2004: looking at the info. Next?
- Leila Amaral. The first image file is called barrigacoracao, which means barriga coração, which means heart belly. It is the photo of a pregnant human belly with a drawing of a heart from a medical book superimposed to it. You can also see two small lights on the heart. A red and a yellow dot. Second file is the same thing with another image over the belly, a human retina. And also some small dots, the red and yellow lights. Looks like two yellows and one red one. The third image file didn't open. Anyway, I've told you about it before. My opinion stays the same: Good show!

Generation 2000 against total chaos (part 143)

- Posição 2004: looking at the info. Next?
- Laura Burnier. Three small photomontages of blurring moving transparent glass pots with one human mouth lying sideways inside of each one. Perhaps it's the same one. Not dated. I believe that they were no longer that 50 centimeters side by side. The CD says they were part of a series called "CONSERVAS" DE BELEZA, which means Beauty "Preserves" and that the title is BOCA. That means Mouth. It's a bit creepy the way they look like they are passing you by in a music video terror movie, and I like it. Good show!

lord of the rimming

- Have you seen The Secret? And what did you think of it?
- I gave it a try, and my sex life is SOOOOOO much better now!
- Really? How's that?
- I started picturing my ass getting tongue-fucked, and feeling the pleasure as I imagined it happening. Now I get a lot more tongue-fucking than I used to! And I really feel that my ass deserves it! It's awesome!

Generation 2000 against total chaos (part 142)

- Posição 2004: looking at the info. Next?
- Júlio Rodrigues. Date: 2004. A video-object, as he calls it. 2 x 2.3 x 0.3 meters. A machine with a red green and blue tape rolling continuously before a small camera. There is a short delay, so the TV screen changes from red to green to blue to red again a little behind what is actually going on. You are looking at the past, and that is exactly what the title, PASSADO, means. The small camera is right behind the TV screen, so it's easy to notice the delay. Good show!

democratic release

- Are you concerned about the future of Venezuela under Hugo Chávez?
- Yes, of course! He could start a war in South America! That would be a shame! All those beautiful young men leaving behind their Hugo Boss AG clothes and going to their deaths with such awful military clothing! I pray to God that the good people of Venezuela see how ridiculous his ideas are! When they understand that we don't need to destroy fashion in order to get everybody good food and a good job, they will surely laugh him out of his dream, and he will open the cage and release democracy!

Generation 2000 against total chaos (part 141)

- Posição 2004: looking at the info. Next?
- Julia Traub Csekö. Date: 2004. Title: OVO DE COLOMBO, which means Egg of Columbus. Check the Wikipedia. It means an act of genius that, once done by someone, is easily repeated by anyone. Like an insight. Well, I've told you I remembered her text for protesting that art schools need money, too, or something. What surprised me, as I got the chance to read it again, was that she uses the expression to mean the Brazilian way of getting over money trouble in unorthodox, and even illegal ways. I didn't know it could have that meaning. Good show!

upbeat

- What about Podecrer!, that has the international title Right On?
- It's a nice romantic comedy about upper middle class kids in Rio de Janeiro in 1981. There's a rock band, and the worrying that they will never get rich or get the girl or boy they like, and the concern about the rat race and the military rule, and the fun with drugs and alcohol. I specially like the fact that abortion is not viewed as a crime, even though it was and still is criminalised in Brazil even today. And the girl that has more than one lover is seen as a tramp, but not in a too negative way. And she doesn't seem to be doing it because she has issues, but simply because that's who she is, and that's OK. That's very sex positive! In short: good upbeat fun!

Generation 2000 against total chaos (part 140)

- Posição 2004: looking at the info. Next?
- Joana Traub Csekö. Date: 2004. Title: P.O.P. (Poluente Orgânico Persistente), which means Persistent Organic Pollutant. 180 x 165 x 25 centimeters. Soap boxes, and the name of the soap IS really POP, actually. Good show!

elite nonsense

- Well, Tropa de Elite is a good action movie. As for being fascist, I think the one that is on the verge of becoming fascist is the hero, and anyone who believes the movie is a true portrait of reality in Rio. It's an ACTION movie, folks! If you want action with a bit of drama, you must have extreme situations. Even one of the screenwriters, who was an elite cop himself, has said it on O Globo newspaper: not all regular cops are corrupt, and not all elite ones are honest, but he had to write it like that for the movie to work. The idea is to make you feel so trapped that you start to think that torturing people, like the elite cops do in the movie, is a good idea. As for real life, it is not: tortured people lie, specially if they have been expecting it to happen to them and have trained themselves for the situation. They learn to pretend to be tough, and then pretend to break and give out info that will incriminate their enemies, or innocent people.
- What about the fact that the hero blames the upper class drug users for giving out the money that buys guns for the drug dealers?
- Well, I am sure that every drug user would love to give that money for the government to use in health programs for the poor, but you'd have to legalise all recreational drugs, if you want to collect the taxes. I think it would be smarter than this war on drugs nonsense, really.

Generation 2000 against total chaos (part 139)

- Posição 2004: looking at the info. Next?
- My computer wasn't able to open the files in the CD with the info about Ivani Pedrosa. So all I can do is add the title of her work to the comments I did before. It's called OUTREM, which means somebody else. And the date is 2004. Good show!

holy fek

It looks like a drawing over a photo of an ancient furnace. Signed by Marcelo Moraes. Dated November 3rd 2007. Title: ME. About 7 by 7 inches. A speech balloon makes the furnace say: ALWAYS UP AND READY FOR YOU! Below it, the phrase: EXPO FREE SAMPLE. The photo seems to be part of an ad for an exhibition at FEK, which means Eva Klabin Foundation. Mr. Moraes used it to draw the phrase: ME FEK YOU LONG TIME. We have reasons to believe it is connected with the mysterious appearence of the pyramid of brown paper boxes containing a female condom, KY gel, and a Zero Coke can in front of the Mango Spot, in Karachi. We expect the arrival of the drawing at Cucamonga Lab within 5 hours, and will keep you informed of any further test results.