REALITY IS NOT A VERY CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE

STUPID IS AS STUPID DIES

THE STREETS ARE WAITING ROOMS THAT NEVER DIE

HAVE SOME WARM WATER TEA AND RELAX

BIG FLASH BLUES

Life is always some war or another
Some people care and some don't bother
But now it's time to get on with that show
Jump your blood and feel so special

Stars are crawling through your mind
A Heaven of your own devise
Find some big truth in a flash
Get dressed and take out the trash

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

A GENTE IA SE ENCONTRAR NO RIO DURANTE O CONGRESSO INTERNACIONAL DE BALAS PERDIDAS

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET IN RIO DURING THE INTERNATIONAL STRAY BULLET CONGRESS

THE SIGNATURE IS THE MESSAGE

PLANET DUMP: REPORT THREE

Some people think that Planet Dump has elected an ultramilitaristic president. They should visit Planet Ship and get inside the area controlled by the Pure State Movement. Not that I think that things are going great on Planet Dump. No amount of Moo could make that true.

YOUR LACK OF HUMOR IS THE BIGGEST JOKE

YEPZ MEANS TWO OR MORE TIMES YEP

ONLY GOD KNOWS IF GOD EXISTS

SÓ DEUS SABE SE DEUS EXISTE

WELCOME TO RIO HERE IS YOUR BULLETPROOF VEST

PLANET DUMP: REPORT TWO

If you do not know Planet Dump, just imagine Planet Earth. Planet Dump looks like a country named Brazil in the year 2018. That's right. We don't even have flying cars. But I can't complain because my job at the National Undead Letter Office (or NULO) pays for a couple of shots of Moonbrine after work. Moonbrine (or simply Moo) is brown and not unlike the most lethal whisky ever. There are worse places than Planet Dump. More about those awful planets later. Maybe. It's not like I need more depressing news. We are not allowed to drink Moo at work because it could lead to dancing.

REALITY IS NOT A VERY CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE

IF ANTIFASCIST FASCISM DOES NOT KILL YOU FASCIST FASCISM WILL AND NEITHER WILL EVER ADMIT THEIR OVERSEXED MISTAKE

YOU ARE LAUGHING AT BAD JOKES TO SURVIVE INTERNET DOWNTIME

YOUR LACK OF HUMOR IS THE BIGGEST JOKE

WE WERE SURPRISED TO FIND THAT THE BISEXUAL GUY WAS A TRIPLE AGENT

AND THE BLACK DRAG QUEEN SAID: I'M MARTINA BIANCA, BITCH!

YOUR BOOK IS SO BORING IT COULD BE A HOLY TEXT

WE STAND WITH ISRAEL NOT JOKING HERE

YOUR ART IS SO BORING IT WILL BE MANDATORY CONTENT IN ART HISTORY BOOKS

SHE USES DRUGS TO BE ABLE TO SIT STILL AND LISTEN TO MUSIC FOR MORE THAN TEN MINUTES

THE SIGNATURE IS THE MESSAGE

GET THAT PEN OUT

THE SIGNATURE IS THE MESSAGE SO GET THAT PEN OUT

WELCOME TO RIO HERE IS YOUR BULLETPROOF VEST

ESTUDE PRA CARALHO

I THINK I GAVE THAT BOOK TO A LIBRARY OR A FRIEND OR A SPACESHIP JANITOR PASSING THROUGH

TO SEE

I mean I must be doing this WRITINGDRAWING stuff in four books at the same time and this means it will get even more fragmented and it will surely make things harder to assemble should we ever find some use to these observations. WHEN IN DOUBT JUST GO AHEAD AND DRAW OR PAINT SOMETHING THAT COULD BE CALLED A PHALLIC SYMBOL OR JUST A PLAIN HARD COCK OR DILDO and there were thin transparent gelatin sheets flying between me and the grey clouds my eyes must be too fantastic now the cars seem to be sleeping somewhere else there is no sign of people except a couple of guys I'm not even sure exist outside my mind and there is something glorious about the multitude of greys in the sky and maybe they are secretly laughing about me the bastards but I'm too high to care or even laugh there's so much TO SEE.

RIGHT NOW

Two glasses of tea. Even the insomniac are asleep I guess. Went out for a walk. Surprised it was daylight already. Told a girl the other night that her nose looked like the nose of some guitar player. I did NOT have some sexual idea about her. OK. She was beautiful but I DID NOT REALLY wanted to fuck then and DON'T WANT to fuck her now. But that does not mean I MEAN THAT DON'T MEAN SHIT 'CAUSE I PROBABLY SCARED THE POOR FUCKER SO SHE KISSED HER FRIEND AND LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE ME HE WAS HER BOYFRIEND BUT FUCK IT ALL THEY ALL LOOKED LIKE SCARED ASEXUAL KIDS AND I AM SORRY IF THEY WERE SCARED BY MY TRYING TO CHAT BUT I'M ALSO NOT VERY MUCH SORRY NO WAY FUCK THIS SHIT FUCK THIS PARANOIA IT'S OK IF THEY ARE ASEXUAL BUT THEIR PARANOIA IS A BIT TOO MUCH AND SO I AM LIKE A LOT OF PRETTY TOUCHY EMOTIONAL IDIOTS OUT THERE WE NEED SOME EFFECTIVE AND I MEAN REALLY EFFECTIVE THERAPY TO STOP BEING SUCH BIG CLOSET EGOMANIACS and what else can I say at least I think MY therapy is working you think I'M an asshole you should have seen me two years ago or your face in the mirror RIGHT NOW.

INTERCEPTED SEPTEMBER.28.2018

INTERCEPTED SEPTEMBER.28.2018: Yesterday I played two tracks of about thirty minutes at the same time to make a new song. Melody Laughter (by The Velvet Underground) and Noise Loop (by The Flaming Lips). Let us call it Melody Noise. Hit The Velvet first.

PLANET DUMP: REPORT ONE

I am going to pretend I am new to Planet Dump. Like I was inside the brain of some guy who was born here. It smells bad the place but the drugs are good. Some are even LEGAL.

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

YOUR XPHOBIA IS NOT AS SEXY AS YOU THINK

ACEPHOBIC IDIOTS FUCK OFF

ASEXUAL AS FUCK

COMING TO RIO WITH THE BULLETPROOF BACKPACK BLUES

MAKING EVERYTHING POLITICAL IS GONNA FUCK UP YOUR LIFE

YOUR SILLY ENIGMAS SOLVE NO ONE

A STREETCAR NAMED PARTAAAAY

VAI MORRER DE CAGANEIRA FILHO DA PUTA

UM BONDE CHAMADO FESTEJO

YOUR BOOK IS SO BORING IT COULD BE A HOLY TEXT

I AM GONNA SPREAD HER ASS AND LICK HER ANUS

HAVE SOME WARM WATER TEA AND RELAX

I UNDERSTAND AND I WISH TO CONTINUE

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

WELCOME TO RIO HERE IS YOUR BULLETPROOF VEST

MAKING EVERYTHING POLITICAL IS GONNA FUCK UP YOUR LIFE

HE HAS NO BEARD CUZ HE IS A SECRET HIPSTER

YE KNOW YE LUV HER LEADERSHIP

SHE'S GONNA MAKE YE DO IT

VOU ASSISTIR SÓ METADE DO JOGO PRA FICAR SÓ MEIO NERVOSO

THE LIGHTHOUSE LIBRARIAN

YOUR SILLY ENIGMAS SOLVE NO ONE

MAY THE BEST DEMAGOGUE WIN

O BIBLIOTECÁRIO DO FAROL

YOUR BOOK IS SO BORING IT COULD BE A HOLY TEXT

WELCOME TO RIO HERE IS YOUR BULLETPROOF VEST

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

HAVE SOME WARM WATER TEA AND RELAX

FUCK OFF EVERYBODY THANK YOU

I TAKE LONG SHOWERS TO SAVE THE PLANET FROM MY SMELL

FUCK OFF IF YOU SAY FUCK OFF

FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID ILLOGICAL IDEAS

EVERY HONEST BRAZILIAN BELIEVES THAT THE LAW APPLIES TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT IS NOT HIS OR HER FRIEND

KILL ALL NAZI DICTATORS AND KILL ALL COMMUNIST DICTATORS AND KILL ALL FASCIST DICTATORS AND KILL ALL HEALTHY FOOD DICTATORS

HAVE SOME WARM WATER TEA AND RELAX

MOONERISTIC SPYSTIC GOES AGNOSTIC

UNTITLED POST

I TAKE LONG SHOWERS TO SAVE THE PLANET FROM MY SMELL

TRUTH TRUMPS GOOD MANNERS ONLY WHEN THERE IS RISK OF DEATH

YOUR BOOK IS SO BORING IT COULD BE A HOLY TEXT

NO YASH TILL BROOKLYN

LAST LETTER

This book suggested writing a letter to friends and family to be read as my LAST LETTER after my death. I guess mine would read like this:

I am only dead because I have lived and more than fifty years is OK. I am grateful. I was raised to be a Roman Catholic but started having serious doubts when I was fourteen and now I believe the Jewish people are right and the Messiah has not showed up and G-d only knows the day it will happen. I have tried to be a good person and that's all I can ask of you. Shalom.

SURPRISINGLY STUPID POLITICAL IDEAS ARE NO SURPRISE

WE STAND WITH ISRAEL NOT JOKING HERE

A CULPA É TODA MINHA E SUA E DE TODOS

SHEMALE WHORES ARE GONNA FAK YA IN THE ASS ALL NITE

YOUR BOOK IS SO BORING IT COULD BE A HOLY TEXT

FUCK OFF EVERYBODY THANK YOU

VAPRA PUTAQUE OPARIU

HAVE SOME WARM WATER TEA AND RELAX

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

WELCOME TO RIO HERE IS YOUR BULLETPROOF VEST

A VIDA IRRITA A ARTE

NO YASH TILL BROOKLYN

WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU I PUKE MYSELF

THEN I SAW HER FECES AND NOW I'M A RETRIEVER

Vá pra puta que Paris e seja feliz

I TAKE LONG SHOWERS TO SAVE THE PLANET FROM MY SMELL

FUCK FASCIST COLLECTIVISM BUT USE A CONDOM

NO TITLE MEANS NO TITLE

YOUR BOOK IS SO BORING IT COULD BE A HOLY TEXT

FASCIST COLLECTIVISM WILL DESTROY YOU AFTER YOU INVITE IT TO YOUR HOME FOR A DRINK

WE HOPE YOU KNOW THAT A MICARETA FESTIVUS CAN BE ANY DAY YOU CHOOSE TO PARTY ANY WAY YOU WANT IT EVEN INSTEAD OF FESTIVUS SO IT IS A POSSIBLY MEANINGLESS PARTY AND THANK GAWD FOR IT ALL

MERRY MICARETA FESTIVUS EVERYBODY

WE HOPE YOU KNOW YOU CAN ENJOY THIS TEXT EVEN IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND EVERY SINGLE MORPHEME

ALEA KAFKA EST

IF ALL HAD FOOD AND WATER THERE WOULD BE WAR FOR BEER

SURPRISINGLY STUPID POLITICAL IDEAS ARE NO SURPRISE

WE STAND WITH ISRAEL NOT JOKING HERE

A CULPA É TODA MINHA E SUA E DE TODOS

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

YOUR BOOK IS SO BORING IT COULD BE A HOLY TEXT

ASSASSINOS SEM SENSO DE HUMOR ATIRANDO NAS RUAS EM PESSOAS QUE CONTAM PIADAS

SOME STUPID SNIPER WITH NO SENSE OF HUMOR WILL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT IS MY BET

WELCOME TO RIO HERE IS YOUR BULLETPROOF VEST

EM VEZ DE SER UM IDIOTA OU UM CRIMINOSO POSANDO DE BONZINHO POR SER SOCIALISTA OU UMA PESSOA DO BEM DE ESQUERDA OU DIREITA OU CENTRO SEJA COMO EU UM BISSEXUAL OU GAY OU ASSEXUAL QUE GOSTA DE CHUPAR PIROCA QUE NEM EU OU MORRA SUA BICHA ENRUSTIDA FUCK OFF AND DIE OF ANAL CANCER

YOUR BOOK IS SO BORING IT COULD BE A HOLY TEXT

WELCOME TO RIO HERE IS YOUR BULLETPROOF VEST

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

WORK HARD PLAY HARD REST HARDER

SUICIDE ATTACKS MEANS YOU ARE AFRAID TO DIE ALONE YOU SAD COWARD

OUT OF THE CLOSET AND DRIVING TO CRUISERS CREEK

WE STAND WITH ISRAEL NOT JOKING HERE

SOLIDARITY IS SELF-PRESERVATION

HIERARCHY IS NOT GOING AWAY UNLESS IT WANTS TO

OUT OF THE CLOSET AND ON THE NEXT PLANE TO TEL AVIV

EVERYTHING WILL BE EDITED BY SOMEONE WHOSE ENGLISH IS EVEN WORSE THAN YOURS

MANCHETE NO BRASIL É A MESMA HÁ QUINHENTOS ANOS, "DEPOIS MELHORA", E DEPOIS DO QUE EXATAMENTE NINGUÉM SABE

BRAZILIAN NEWS IS FIVE HUNDRED YEARS OF "DEPOIS MELHORA" ("IT GETS BETTER AFTERWARDS") AND AFTER EXACTLY WHAT IT GETS BETTER NOBODY KNOWS

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

AND THE WOALD TURNS AROUND

WE WENT TO SEE SUPER BEAU LIVE AT THE MOVIEPLEX FOR WATCHING HUGE MOVING PICTURES OF MEN IN TIGHT TROUSERS IS A JOY TO BE HELD

HE WAS SO EXCITED HE WAS NEARLY FAINTING CUZ HE HAD JUST GOT VAN POSER FOUNDATION'S FIRST SINGLE ("POSING AS A VAN") IN ALL ITS SHOCKING PINK AND MOSS GREEN PVC VINYL GLORY

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

SORRY BUT NO DOCUMENT PROOF THIS GLITTER IS BIOFRIENDLY NO ENTRANCE AT THIS CARNAVAL PARTY FOR YOU

NEARLY WENT TO SEE THE SHAPE OF WALTER OSHKAR CONTENDER THE OTHER NIGHT BUT FELT THERE'S SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT IT

ENGINEER THOMAS SAID HIS COLLEAGUES WERE "FAZENDO BULE" (WHICH TRANSLATES AS "MAKING TEAPOT" AND MEANS BULLYING BECAUSE "BULE" SOUNDS SIMILAR) AND SO WE HAD TO JAIL HIM FOR BEING A VICTIM

ENGINEER THOMAS SAID HIS COLLEAGUES WERE "FAZENDO BULE" (WHICH TRANSLATES AS "MAKING TEAPOT" AND MEANS BULLYING BECAUSE "BULE" SOUNDS SIMILAR) AND SO WE HAD TO JAIL HIM FOR BEING A VICTIM

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY SO BUZZ OFF

AS I UNDERSTAND IT SOME MYSTICS SAY THAT OUR THOUGHTS AND OUR WORDS AND OUR ACTIONS AFFECT GAWD THE ETERNAL AND SO IT MAKES SENSE THE OLD GEEZER HAS BEEN SILENT FOR TWO THOUSAND YEARS OR MORE BECAUSE WE HUMANS CAN GET ANYONE DEPRESSED AND SPEECHLESS IN NO TIME EVEN IF THEY HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY

WE'VE GOTTA GET HOLD OF THIS PLACE

FOR ADULTS ONLY

SPEAK SOFTLY AND CARRY A TAVOR X95

SPY COMEDY FOR ADULTS ONLY

SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

AM YISRAEL CHAI

WENT TO SEE BARKEST HOUR THE OTHER NIGHT AND BOY IT WAS BARKING PUNCHKIN FREAKYLILICIOUS MAIN SHTAR OSHKAR MATERIAL YEAH BABY YEAH