not in

Then I knew I was in Cosmic Joke again. Cosmic Joke in my mind was the Candid Camera the spirits watched to see the living do idiotic stuff like I was doing that day. It all made sense on theory, of course. I left the office building and felt like a walk why not I just knew there was not going to be any messages on my answering machine it almost never happened so what was the hurry to get home where I could be reached by phone but wouldn't get any calls and also the traffic was heavy so I decided to walk for maybe half the way to my place if I was really into it and then I was walking all the way home and then I noticed I was near her job and it made sense too because it was the safest street it was already dark but I was worried I would bump into her and she would feel I was stalking her OK I was on the other side of the street and there was the building and sure enough there was someone looked just like her and two other girls going out the front door to get a sandwich 'cause they worked really late and I just looked straight ahead and never looked back I was scared into auto-pilot thank God I just went on without looking back I knew she didn't hate me but I felt she didn't want to see me again not in a long long long time. So I stopped a few blocks down the way to get some eat and then I went straight home to drink until I passed out in such a stupor I could almost believe in God but not in any church no I was too happy for that mind control crap I just drifted into a dream of some kind of Heaven where women were not easily offended by my clueless talk.