SOME KIND OF HEAVEN

Sure I loved a boozehead. I was seventeen and she was twenty-five or something. We met because she fell over on the sidewalk and I helped her up and was she alright? We ended up getting a drink. Cola for me and vodka for her. She was studying Psychology and drinking all day long every single day. Said she did not remember anything at all before she was six or seven. I was just a lucky bastard who had escaped compulsory military service. I loved her instantly. Maybe the planet was gonna get fried when the computers went crazy and fired all the nuclear missiles at once. But I was in love and I was gonna walk all over town listening to anything she said. I still had some days off before going back to where I lived. So the next day in town was the same as the day I met her. She drank one vodka at each bar. She knew all the bars and we walked all over town. I was staying with my aunt. I asked her over. There was nobody home but I was not planning to pounce on her or anything and I assured her so. She said OK. Eventually she figured I was a real shy guy so she just kissed me out of the blue. That was my first kiss, I think. There was this other one one year before, but I was so drunk I think I might have dreamed it. And the girl who supposedly kissed me probably didn't want me to get too emotional about it so she told me I was dreaming. So OK that was my first kiss that I clearly remember. Anyway. We kissed and embraced. There was no place where we could fuck and we didn't mind much as long as I had cola and she had vodka. I for sure had no idea what I was missing. I would not find out with her. We exchanged some letters. I came back on my next vacation. I did believe she was moving to my town. She told me it was not so as she put me into the cab that would take me to the bus station. Once again practical matters were doing a practical joke on me. I was crying as she held me one last time. That was years ago and she is probably dead if she went on drinking the way she did. I just hope there is some kind of heaven for the ones who drank so much they can hardly remember ever being kids.