Going on twenty and going steady with yet another girl. She was older and wiser than the other ones. I just quit all illegal drugs, and went back to alcohol. And books. And LPs from Sonic Youth, Jimi Hendrix, Laurie Anderson, The Fall, and The Velvet Underground.
I quit eating meat, and bought some jazz albums. I was drawing more. And still stayed up late watching soundlessTV with the controls twisted, so it looked like some abstract video made by Andy Warhol, you know? Screaming colors and vibrating shapes.
The fact is: even before trying any drug, including alcohol, I was already quite out of it. I used to lay down upon the carpet facing the ceiling, with my eyes closed, after lunch. I would put some record on. Usually the Blue Album. Yeah, The Beatles! Man, was I tripping! At times, I couldn't even feel my body right. I felt inflated, or made of air. Call me borderline schizo, if you like! Paraphrenic or whatever. I say everybody can do something similar, if they concentrate on some intense stuff. Like people watching a movie. They almost forget that it is not real.
So I quit my job, and flunked a lot of disciplines at college. It was love, alright!
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